120530)
Sometimes I hate how my words end up like this. Just words in a forgotten blog. However, I’m too shy to say them. No. I’m so enclosed in myself that I don’t want to open up. But I wish you could read them. I would like that you could read what I’ve written so far, realize how I feel and even knowing that, I expect you to forget it. Just like that. No need to say anything. No questions. No blame. No arguments. Just pure reading.

120528)
I’ve been stuck in gray days lately. Even if the sun is lightening the sky I still feel cold. I walk all alone by a never ending path that is starting to get darker and darker. I’m afraid and there’s no one next to me. I don’t feel any warmth left in me. I’m freezing. I’m sorrowful and lonely. So much that suffocates me. I’m dying.

illestswagsta:

I dare you say it. Say that you hate me. Say you don’t love me anymore. Say I fucked up your life. Go ahead, I dare you.

120524)
Sorry for causing you too many troubles~
I wish I could be perfect to you. But I just keep on showing you I’m full of flaws.

120522)
I feel like my life right now is a huge Black hole. Everything is being sucked inside of it having no impact on my life. Like water through a funnel. The more things I do to try to make it worth the tighter it becomes. It just gets tighter and tighter. Therefore it becomes more difficult. Until one day it will dissppear. Taking nothing with it. Leaving nothing to be remembered for. That’s what I’m afraid of. 
I have no idea when did I become so miserable like this. I crave for happiness. Yet I’m less than close to it.

120521)
Stop it. I can’t be your savior. I know the things I say are wrong. I know my words are not soft. But I’m exhausted. I can barely tolerate myself. I can’t save someone else right now. That’s why I find it horrible when you want to spent all your time with me doing things you want. But, at the same time, it kills me because I’m not useful for you. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for hating myself therefore I try to fix myself so I can be happy and make you happy. But it’s so difficult. I’m becoming a terrible human being.

20120520)
For being close to me you’ve started to become sad~
정말 미안해요~ 

omo-ulzzang:

You know what the major difference about you and me is?? 

You see the colors and bright side. You see the world in it’s colorful and cheerful attire while me, yeah me..

For me the world is gray and cold. Nothing but gray and cold. 
All I see is darkness and gray. All I see in people is their dark and devious side. If they smile it’s nothings but a fake mask they wear to hide their true intention. 

While you live on the bright and wonderful side of the coin, I live on the other, dark and cold side.

20120516)
With some sad songs playing in the background. Looking through the windows of a room that is not mine. In a house that is not mine. ‘That’s enough’ I say to myself while a few tears come up smoothly. I’ve failed about 4 times alredy. Not one, not two… I’ve failed and I’ve standed up all by myself. Eventually, I got tired. But I still kept on standing up. However, this will be the last time. I have no more chances left. It’s 1 out of 3 already. Once it is over… I do not know what to do.